Bad Pancake Dive. Thanks to Kate (the girl with no first name—long story—for this one). The first dive of your vacation. It’s always bad, like a “bad pancake”, burnt on one side, raw on the other – you’ll eat it in your kitchen, but won’t serve it to guests. Make it a shallow dive and don’t dwell on the problems because the rest of your dives just get better. Blame it on a short fill tank and your partner. This worked for Dan.
Underwater photography. Awesome. This point and shoot girl found a new reason to dive more than once per year. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. For the first time ever I understood the importance of getting the right angle on a subject and patience for the right natural light. One out of 30 pictures is a keeper, but when you get it right it’s really satisfying.
It’s about the light. Our little camera did a yeoman’s job, but a bright strobe is required to bring out the color in underwater life (It's not all blue and green, depth washes out the red). We’ll be stopping by the dive shop to rent the right gear before we dive again. I now (slightly) regret the Evil Eye I gave Dan when he bought the dive case last year right before we went to Key West. Sorry sorry sorry.
Pay for quality. We dive with the same dive center (Dressel Divers based in Spain) every year. We trust them, their equipment and their expertise. We pay extra. Unlike divers who debriefed with us at the pool bar, we’ve never been LEFT BEHIND by the boat or been forced to squeeze an air hose to keep the air flow to a manageable level. Vince, Jake, Eduardo, Nat, Kate, Mattan, Michael to name a few—Thank You!
Don’t dive wearing green eye shadow. Or perhaps it would be better if you just say NO to the Star Friends when they want you to be in the show. Dan said yes and found himself wearing a dress, covered in make-up. He effectively removed most of it, but the next day, in the sunlight, his eyes were nicely framed by vibrant green eye shadow.
Air pig. An air pig is someone who uses up the air in the tank before their dive buddy. That would be Dan. Except twice, when I was taking lots of pictures and working hard to get close to subjects, then I was the air pig and Dan was forced to ascend with 1000 PSI.
Neutral buoyancy. Dan is the master of “neutral buoyancy”, in which the diver’s body mass equals the mass it displaces in the water. A diver who has attained neutral buoyancy won’t sink or rise without physical exertion. If you struggle to achieve neutral buoyancy on your own, then dive with a partner that can. And never do a safety stop (15 feet/3 meters for 3 minutes) without one.
Bacon is universal. This highly sought after food is desired by every dive master in Cozumel, a big stack (on bread with cheese, please) will bring a ready smile and extra attention. Jake: “My Precious.” Nuff said. You need a pirate in every port. (OK, I knew this already) It’s especially important when you are going to miss a pirate kiss on “spontaneous Thursday night at Hector’s”. Then a pirate kiss in Cozumel, in another Mexican restaurant named after a Pirate, by a friend who IS a pirate is just as wonderful. It really is good to have pirates everywhere. (And Dan had no issues getting the Ms. Pirate kiss on the cheek from the very pretty Sandy in congratulations for our 33 year wedding anniversary.)
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| L-R: Pirate Michael, barman, France, Sandy |
It’s not a party until someone smells like Tequila. So put down the camera. You watch the barman bringing seven two-ounce shots to the table. As he gets close Dan reaches for the camera, and two people leap into poses—and knock five of the seven shots into France’s lap (the person, not the country.) He brought more.
In summary, if we don’t move to Key West I could be talked into moving to Cozumel. Can’t wait to dive there again next year.
