It's cooler near the lake

It’s been a stupid week, and this is a rant. I also freely admit that I'm under the influence of too much Dayquil and Nyquil (and margaritas—it is Thursday) as I suffer through my second severe cold in less than 4-weeks. Here I go. I've heard and seen a lot of disturbing news today. Where to start? 

This morning, sitting at my desk, I heard on the radio that I should not wear any furry anything or leopard prints. Back into my closet to cull out more offending articles of clothing. Dan will not let me lose the leopard dress he loves so much. 

At lunch I saw an article about the coldest cities in the US. Wisconsin has the MOST of any state in the nation, even Alaska. Yes, it is cooler near the lake. (FYI, Milwaukee was #38.)

Then I read an article about the final push to turn Wisconsin into Wississippi.

On the drive home I heard about the limitations of my flu shot.

And finally, here’s the forecast for Saturday: Partly sunny. Highs in the mid 30s. North winds 10 to 15 mph.

Too much.

And that’s it. On Saturday we're on tap for the Santa Rampage. A whole lot of people, dressed in Santa suits, riding their bikes from one stop to the next. Dan’s been working on our Santa outfits, red-fleece lined sweatshirts I found at Target that will, hopefully, be warm enough to withstand the temperature, winds and wind-chill of riding a bicycle in DECEMBER in WISCONSIN.

Two pair.

Dan’s talents are wasted on this … seriously … and according to the first news article, it’s a fashion faux pas for me to wear fur anyway. If I'm going to live in a state that is a Banana Republic, I want to see bananas on trees, outside my window. And monkeys! I want fricking monkeys! I don't want an $8,000 property tax bill, I want an $800 tax bill. I want warm weather all of the time. And I NEVER want to see the name of my state on a list of COLDEST cities.

I’m sure that Santa visits Key West. I know he must. They decorate Christmas trees, hang stockings, sing Christmas carols and tuck the children in early on Christmas Eve. We could Santa rampage in Key West. Dan is talented with a glue gun and…a red bra…and red bikini bottoms…and a bit of white fur....