In defense of Nickelback - Dan speaks up!

I have not done this before, but I am hijacking Paula’s blog for one of my own. This is Dan, and two things occurred this week that require comment. The first was that we (I) installed the Sonos wireless sound system in our house, which allows us to stream music everywhere. It is a slick system—long overdue. The second was that Nickleback was rated in the realms of lice, Genghis Khan and congress. Having just re-read Bill Bryson’s “A Short History of Nearly Everything” I have a renewed respect for lice. Congress is congress—we get the government we deserve. It could be so much worse. We could be Italy. Or Greece. Or China’s Coal Mine (Australia.)  But we are here, and that’s cool. Now, to Nickelback…

Music is uber-subjective. There are people who think the Red Hot Chili Peppers or Linkin Park or The Dave Matthews Band are not some promoter’s joke about “I can pack 560 pounds of crap in a 10 pound bag and get people to pay to see it.” To me, on the new Sonos system, they get the big Thumbs Down immediately. But somewhere in the internetosphere they are loved. As It Should Be. But back to Nickleback…

I love music that tells a story. Whether that is Gil Scott Heron or Marty Robbins or Warren Zevon or Bruce Cockburn or Poison (Poison just got a huge bump here) if it’s a good short story, I’m in. Nickelback does that, and it is now a Sonos favorite (along with Warren and Bruce). 

But we as MUSICIANS hate Nickelback! Chill. Those of us with real jobs are OK with them. I think about a world run by and for musicians…and smile. It would be a race to see if you died of dysentery or froze to death as (we in the utility industry like to say) you enjoyed “the splendor of God’s darkness.” You are the soundtrack for us to keep the wheels on. It’s not the other way around.

Sure, we have seen the aging, balding and paunchy (I am reminded to Milwaukee’s Wild Cherry, the great 80’s hair metal cover band, but there are so many others) who belch out teenage angst with the crowd getting a contact high from the Rogaine. There is a monstrous chasm between popular and important, and those who don’t see it are lost in their own fog. Back to Nickelback. Genghis Kahn had the largest contiguous empire in history and promoted religious tolerance across all of it. Lice keep us from suffocating in clouds of our own dead skin cells. Congress is congress. And Nickelback is just that. Look at this photograph…

Easy Peasy

We bought our first computer in 1983. It was an Macintosh 512, upgraded in the store from the original 128k. That store installed tag, which fell off some years later, is still in our bathroom of antiques. For about 15 minutes we were cutting edge. Dan beamed as he exclaimed “this is all the computer I’ll ever need.” Years later we paid $1,000 for a used 1 MB hard drive. People asked two questions: How did you get it that cheap, and what will you ever do with 1 mb? Yeah. Forced to upgrade over the years by the ever evolving technology and need for greater computing capacity, I sit here typing on a 24” iMac with a Mountain Lion OS (or is it Springing Cheetah)?

We’re not big fans of technology. Our four cars are a combined 99 years old. We deprived our sons of a normal childhood by not owning any video game systems and they didn’t get cell phones until they were in their late teens. Dan bought a Sharper Image radio/CD combo for the upstairs bathroom and it’s been blinking 12:00 since he installed it. On work nights I ask him what time he needs to be up because he doesn’t know how to set the alarm clock. Employers have forced us to learn how to use an iPhone (Dan) and a Blackberry (me). Dan is often heard chewing out Siri because she’s not delivering the goods.

During the holidays we had a few friends over to watch The Ref. Dan attempted to route the sound through our 35-year-old Scott receiver for an enhanced listening experience. Our old receiver wasn’t up to the task; a scratchy sound emanated from the speakers and the volume dial had to be carefully manipulated to clear it up. Dusty transformers perhaps? That bit of rerouting turned off the sound on the TV when the DVD player was in use, and for the next several days we had to turn things off and on to watch TV. We had a technology crisis requiring intervention, and some sales person was in for a treat.

We walked into the store armed with questions. Matt was up to the task. We had two goals: get music from the computer to the speakers; get TV that would stream so we could cancel Time Warner cable. We left the store with wave one, a Sonos sound system that could send music throughout the house. Dan took an evening (I took yoga) to set it up. Pretty seamless installation and we were listening to a variety of stations in no time.  We excitedly shared information about our new acquisition with a good friend; Dan describing his success and plans to install the rest of the wireless technology. He described how he would run a cable under the carpet from the wireless router to the new DVD player and have it working in no time. This is when the bigger discussion started.

Dan, if it’s wireless, why do you need a cable?
It’s not wireless from the router to the DVD, it’s wireless from the DVD to the TV.
Pretty sure if it’s wireless. You don’t need any kind of cable.
It’ll be easy to run the cable.
What time on Saturday should I send my 17 year old over to help?

Turns out both the TV and the DVD player are wireless. Once the TV was hung we embarked on the correct method of connecting to the computer.

I need a code, is there a code on the box? Was there a code in the start up menu? 

No.

Are you sure? Did you look at the box?

Yes.

Well then where is the F!!@@#$%%^code?

I F!!@@#$%%^ don’t know!

Now I need a F!!@@#$%%^ password.

It’s the usual password. 

That’s not working, what’s the new password?

And on…  We hit a boiling point, I left to get a massage, Dan to the Stairmaster, then to interrogate the sales person.

When I returned home the final installation was done; rabbit ears acquired and I was able to link in Hulu. My sister and brother-in-law came over to watch the Packers on our wonderful new set-up. The Packers lost. Dan will be hauling the TV out to the trash later today. Not.

So, carried off with the trash on Friday went the old Scott receiver, DVD player and cassette to cassette deck (yeah, those won’t be coming back.) And, via Craigslist, the old monster 46” projection TV is also off to a new home. We used Dan’s grandfather’s 1937 radio as a base for the new LED flat screen TV.  The long and short of it is we have downsized a few hundred pounds of stuff this week on our way to the Keys. Now what was that password again?