Mystery Date

It’s almost Valentines Day. What woman in a relationship doesn’t wonder what special Valentine will be bestowed upon her? And what woman hoping for a relationship doesn’t yearn for that secret Valentine and acknowledgement of her adoration? I’m no exception, I never was.

As a pre-teen I had a game called “Mystery Date”, an unrealistic flight of fancy for a girl dreaming of the perfect romance. The purpose of the game was to collect cards, representing the appropriate event accoutrements, in preparation for the perfect date with your mystery man. There was the Beach Date, the Formal Dance, the Ski Date, and the Picnic. Once you had all the cards for a particular date you could open the door at the center of the game – if your cards matched the dream man, it was happily ever after. Of course, you might not get a date at all. You might get the “dud” guy and then you had to start over.

On a Saturday morning, about 10-years into our marriage, Dan came in from working on the cars. Somehow, we got to talking about childhood games. Dan especially enjoyed games with a pop-o-matic. I recalled Mystery Date. As I explained the game and described the “dud” guy I realized that he was standing before me, covered in dirt and grease, morning pre-shower hair, work clothes and the odor of a hardworking man. We laughed pretty hard about that.

The Mystery Date game implied that we both needed to get ready somehow, have all the right gear for the perfect date. Any kind of a mismatch was a loss. Well it turns out that was completely false. The “dud” had the ultimate advantage. He was undefined, so he could be anyone, and remake himself at any time. Dan, by no means a “dud”, does not fit neatly into any category. He’s just…Dan.

My Mystery Date came with no “accoutrements.” Instead he has enough self-confidence to get dirty and fix things. He’s a wonderful father. He’s not afraid of hard work and doing the right thing. He brings me a rose, on a Tuesday, because he knows it will make me smile. He’s remodeled most of three houses, kept an odd assortment of vehicles safe and on the road, and has introduced me to a life of fun and adventure. He calls me during the day because he misses the sound of my voice.

Marriage is a Mystery Date. After you open the door you need time and patience to discover the person standing in front of you. I am loved and I know it. I’m looking forward with optimism and excitement to more adventures with my perfect date. And that’s the best Valentine ever. 


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