Within the next 36-hours, life as we know it in Wisconsin is coming to an end. How could it not when we are currently under a Blizzard Warning issued by the National Weather Service. And not just any blizzard, a Gigantic Blizzard. According to one local station we are in for a “walloping” amount of snow. Another station has adopted the National Security Alert colors to proclaim in RED, 11 Severe weather alerts and in ORANGE, 43 schools closed. Most alarming is a report from the local paper of the problems this mega-storm will cause Packer fans trying to get to Dallas in time for the Super Bowl on Sunday. I can only laugh watching the local news. I don’t know who’s happier, the orgasmic weatherman or the orgasmic sports announcer reporting from Dallas.
As I watch the continuing scroll of closings I worry that our collective retreat into the warmth and safety of our homes portent the fall of civilization. As a society can we survive the canceling of religious class, youth group, square dance lessons, the school of professional massage, dog club and the Germanfest cultural meeting? And thank goodness for the extra tips thrown into that news scroll at the bottom of my TV screen, because yes, I will now remember to wear my hat and mittens when I go out.
I live in Wisconsin. It snows every winter. A lot. This is a fact. Sometimes it even feels like the world as we know will be completely buried by the White Death. Yet we manage the wind chills, the blowing and drifting, and the challenges of driving while reveling in the joy of the occasional snow day. Predictably, when the spring comes, and it always does, we feel smug that we have once again survived another deadly season. I might miss this, but only just a little bit.
Lucky for me, I have no friends, nor organizations to which I belong. Free day from work hardly feels painful either. See? I could live my entire life as a hermit and hardly be missed. The only rub to this whole blizzard thing is that I will eventually have to leave the comfort of my electric blankie before winter in this dreaded state is over since I HAVE to work because I like eating.
ReplyDeleteYep. Hate snow. Hate winter. Hurry up and buy that home in the Keys--but make sure it's big enough to have a room for your little sister, please. If I have to wait until I retire to get outta here, I'll never make it. Thank you.