Plate Tectonics

With Thanksgiving just around the corner I dove into the china cabinet to set the table for twelve.  As I started to pull out my wedding china (because Thanksgiving CAN NOT be served on paper plates) I became aware of the various plate options that I had.  Turns out I own 249 plates, not counting miscellaneous paper plates, and those currently in the dishwasher.

249 plates!

:Dan steps in: China cabinetSSSS. four, (not the singular Paula implies above) not counting what’s elsewhere in the house. After 32 years, we can address the madness of the plates. It has been nuts—we have plates that have never seen food—never seen a party—never seen the dark wonder of the Dish Washer. But they hang from walls, fill cabinets and when a plate is needed “NO! YOU CAN’T USE THAT PLATE!” 

A weapon not used is not a weapon at all.

I still flinch remembering the “Enchilada Episode.” We had enchiladas on a Friday night and there were two left-over. The one and only time Paula ever had a rummage sale was the following Saturday morning. This was many years ago, and as I recall the story I realize that Paula was high on something, for she decided to SELL SOME PLATES. That’s right, actually get rid of the plates THAT WE USED EVERY SINGLE DAY. I awoke, excited as a five-year-old knowing there were two left-over enchiladas for breakfast. But where could they be? Paula had washed them down the garbage disposal to sell the plate for a quarter. No, I am not bitter. I have, over the years, learned to bury the pain. But I digress…

I will downsize the motor vehicles. The convertible, DeLorean*, motorcycle and Toaster are going. A 66% reduction. I need to ditch one of the two party refrigerators (the 1954 Graf’s is going, the 1932 GE stays.) But now it’s a matter of what to do with all of the plates, “Oh Ashley!”, and I’ll turn this back over to Paula. I have to (believe it or don’t) empty the dish washer.

*It’s a long story.:

Ahem. 

The wedding china, all gifts, service for 16 and lots of extras. Blue depression glass bubble plates were found in my grandmother’s china cabinet after she died, my mom-in-law rounded out the set for me. Green and pink depression glass, not sure where I got those. Halloween plates, too cute to pass up. Large serving plates from a variety of sources.  Decorative plates of many patterns were all gifts. And the Gone With the Wind collection, frankly (my dear), I love them all. They are not microwaveable, a concept lost on Dan. I LOVE Gone With the Wind, the book, the movie and the plates.  The plates are … a passion that my mom-in-law indulged. 

Clearly, I need to come to grips with all of the plates…and make Dan two enchiladas…