The Musician and the Thespian

Hunter & Carl, 1987

The holidays are coming and this was holiday party weekend. An open house tonight found us enjoying the energy of small children. Of course, those of us with children fully grown started to reminisce about magic moments when our kids were growing up. We have two adult sons who are without a doubt the most wonderful guys in the world. Certainly in my world and Dan’s world.

Hunter & Carl, 1996

Resistance to moving south has always been contingent on their futures. I made it clear to Dan early and often that if the boys stayed in the Milwaukee area I needed to be there too. However, they’ve charted a different course, away from home and drop-in visits.

Carl, the musician, lives in Philadelphia, with plans to make a musical future for himself in New York. Music is what he loves. More importantly, it makes him happy. He first picked up an instrument in the fifth grade. Carl was set on being a tuba player but due to size, forced to start on the baritone. This was not acceptable and as soon as he hit middle school he convinced the band director to let him switch. As a freshman in high school he discovered the bass guitar as the passport to the jazz ensemble. He taught himself to play, using an instrument borrowed from his Uncle Brian.

Carl & Hunter, Peavey museum, 2000.

Sophomore year was a crucial point for Carl in asserting control over his destiny. He walked around the house for hours on end with the bass in his hands. More than a few arguments were focused on our requests for him to put the bass down and “DO YOUR HOMEWORK”. Exasperated by less than stellar grades we took him to a psychologist for an evaluation. The therapist showed us a picture Carl drew of a mobile home threatened by a large, nasty looking tornado. Carl had explained that it was “the juxtaposition of outside factors on the safety of the home and family”. Take a chill pill mom and dad, nothing wrong with this kid.

Hunter (center) & Carl (right) in Music Man, 2002

Hunter, the thespian, always knew he wanted to be an actor. In the third grade he donned a hula skirt, bikini top and lipstick in a risky performance for Odyssey of the Mind. He got his first video camera in grade school and made a stop-motion short story for a middle school project. Hunter was cast in two First Stage productions and all but one of the high school plays. He wrote and directed “Zombies, the Musical” for the Student Play Festival at Wauwatosa East. He brought tears to my eyes as a fireman in "Working", in a production staged by his theater class.

While in college we’d hear about a project Hunter was involved with, and if we were lucky enough, he’d let us know when and where to see a performance. He’s written and directed his own full length movie, a project that found me dying a slow and painful death covered in blood colored liquid laundry detergent. “Now mom, could you just gasp and struggle until your final breath? Oh, and then hold your breath and DON'T MOVE until I say cut.” (My best and only movie role and it hit the cutting room floor.) He landed a lead role in the independent movie Driver's Ed Mutiny. And just like Carl, Hunter is truly happy with this life choice.

As a parent the best thing in the world is to see your children thriving, happy and pursuing their dreams. That’s what my kids are doing. They no longer live in their home town, they are pursuing dreams and their adult futures in other places, with plans to move even farther away. My resistance to moving diminished when it became clear that one or both of them would be a plane ticket away, no matter where we live.

Hunter & Carl 2010